Sunday, February 8, 2009

Restless and unsure...

Lately I've had an interesting feeling. It's one that I've never experienced before. I don't even think that describing it would do it any justice. A mixture of boredom and doubt. High school years were filled with chaos. I loved to be as busy as possible. Meetings. Event planning. Selecting new committee members. Mending relationships with administration and students. Competing in DECA, golf and horse back riding. My life was dedicated to TVHS.

Then I came to college

I'm not one to sit around and do nothing. I've never been one to be satisfied with anything less then being an asset to a school or organization. I feel a bit worthless. I'm not the president of any clubs. I'm not doing community service weekly at the hospital. I'm not meeting with the most important people around me trying to make changes that will better my peers. I'm not really doing much of anything.

My life consists of:
Pi Beta Phi

I've had trouble finding a job. Let me rephrase that: I've had trouble finding a job I know that I will enjoy. Passing out numerous applications and resumes isn't doing what I want it to. I would rather make less money and enjoy what I do then make more money hating my job.

I've never had trouble getting what I want, in a school/work environment that is. I've always worked hard to accomplish everything that I've wanted to in my life. My goals often take priority over anything else. And now, not being able to get a job is driving me crazy.

The economy is bad. I know that company's are bombarded with applications of desperate Americans, but there is just not as much work as there once was. I just need to get this concept through my head. But when I'm sitting in my dorm, studying anthropology again, I get a bit restless. I need to start volunteering again. I need a job. I need to decide what I want to do with my life right now. I just need to get rid of this feeling....

1 comment:

Lauren Rice said...

I totally know how you feel. I feel like that too sometimes. I really want to get a job but I haven't even been applying. You'll find something I'm sure :) Love you! And I'm so glad you are blogging now!