Pro-Choice or Pro-Life? Black or White? This or That?

Abortion is an interesting topic. Pro-Choice. Pro-Life. Black or White. This or That.

This is an issue I have been very hesitant to take a stand on. To start off, if a women is sexually active, which is her choice obviously, contraception should be used to prevent unwanted pregnancy. There are numerous methods that women are able to use. I feel as if women were more educated, abortion wouldn't be as prevalent as it is today. Why focus on abortion when we could focus on giving more contraception to those who decide to be sexually active? More then half of all abortions are college aged women. On one hand, being a college age student I could totally see how a woman would be inclined to get an abortion. Heath insurance. Marriage. Schooling. Fear. Feelings of isolation and loneliness. Confusion. The father of the child. Parents. Family.

At this point in life, I can't really persuade myself that I am an adult. After all, my parents pay for housing, gas, and my cell phone. In no way am I financially independent. In no way would I have the money or resources to have a child or let alone pay hosiptal and doctor bills.I am a full time student and work 30 hours a week. I am in a sorority and active in my student government. Child care would be nearly impossible for me to juggle alone. I have always dreamed of being an advertising agent. And it seems as if that dream would immediately die with a pregnancy. How would i be able to finish school in a timely manner, study abroad, and get my dream job with a child? College is supposed to be the most selfish time of your life- it is the time of self discovery. It is the first time you are away from home, your family, all past reputations you may have had. It is the time before you settle down with your serious boyfriend and decide to get married and/or work 40+ hours a week. This is the picture painted of a typical college student. Where oh where could you fit a child into all of that? Then there is the fact of the father-what if he's the kind of guy you don't want to be with forever? Having that child sticks you with him for 18+ years.

But something nags at me...I do believe in God. I believe in fate-that everything happens for a reason. I also have an adopted brother. When my mother couldn't get pregnant after 6 years, she opted for adoption. Soon after, Dayne was born and my mother couldn't be happier. Dayne is an amazing guy. He's served a mission in Eugine, OR, is an extremely talented artist, and is the funny one of the family. It has never felt as if he wasn't 100% a part of our family. I can't even imagine life without Dayne. It's always been me, him, and Drew. No matter what we go through in life, we all do it together. We are always there for each other. And, without the option of adoption, Dayne never would have entered and blessed our lives.

I feel as if adoption is a great thing. There is always a family who wishes to be blessed with a child. There is always a couple who can't have children, but would do anything to be able to. Usually in adoption, hospital and doctor bills are paid by the adoptive parents.

I learned early in high school that a fetus' heart starts beating 10 days after contraception. 10 days. Less then two weeks. A beating heart.

I've struggled with which side of this argument I agree with for for awhile. I know what my church and my family thinks-pro-life all the way, but I couldn't just take their side and not think for myself. I had to put myself in the position of those who have to make the decision. I had to sit and weigh all the possibilities, all the variables that go into it.

I do, however, find it a little selfish to get an abortion solely on the fact that enduring 9 months of embarrassment would be a hard ordeal. 9 months in the big picture, is hardly anything at all. Could one not endure the short 9 months for another potential human?

I think that many women don't feel as if they don't want to be a mother, but that they don't feel as if they will be a good mother. I think many also feel as if their future will be in jeopardy if they have a child. Going to college is a major step for a woman, it is a right that we fought hard to get, and a baby could jeopardize a woman's graduation if she decided to keep the baby. As students, we are juggling school, work, clubs, and a social life. Add a baby into the mix and it is nearly impossible. However, many women do it. I live in Utah and we as a state are known for young marriage. There are many women who have children and are going to college. However, they have husbands. They wanted a family. They knew what they were getting into. Many of them, drop out to stay home with their children, or at the very least, put their degree on hold.

There are those girls who do it. The strong women. The women who have children out of wedlock, get their degree, and enjoy the wonderful life as a mother. I have a friend, I'll call her Betsy. Betsy is 23, unmarried, and pregnant. She works 30 hours a week and is going to aesthetics school. Betsy is having her child, a baby girl who will be born in a short 5 months. Betsy works 9-4 and goes to school 5-8 every day. She is working hard to finish school before her baby is born. Although she isn't with her "baby daddy," he's still going to be in the child's life. And I know that Betsy is going to do fine on her own. She is the strongest women I know. And although she could complain, Betsy treks on. She has voiced her feelings of fear and concern, but she knows that life with her baby girl could never compete with any other feeling. Betsy is going to be an amazing mother.And I truly admire her, more then she will ever know.

Side note: I watched a Feminist For Life speech the other day, "Victory for Violence" in which the speaker said something that hit me "I know you're going through so much right now..and I know you're feeling despair and pain and loneliness. But I want you to know that no feeling will last forever. And abortion will."

I hate to say that I don't believe that abortion should be legal. I've heard the awful stories of women performing abortions with hangers and the danger they put themselves in. I hate to tell any women what they can or cannot do to their body. Margaret Sanger once said, "A woman's body belongs to herself alone. It is her body. It does not belong to the church. It does not belong to the United States" That is a powerful statement.

But I just can not convince myself that abortion is right. I can't believe for a second that the fetus inside a woman's body does not deserve to grow, to be born into this world, and to become a living human being.

I hate to make the choice for every women. I hate to tell women what they can and cannot do. I am all for women's rights. We have fought hard to be equals and although we still have a long way to go, we have accomplished a great deal as women.

I guess all I can say is I don't like abortion. I would never consider myself an advocate for abortion. I don't agree with it. But I am also not one who would tell other women what they can and cannot do with their bodies. I do agree with Sanger. A women's body is her own. But, I do think that women should consider the options heavily. They should put themselves in the fetus' position.

This speech was given by a member of Feminists For Life. I found it at feministforlife.org and would like the share it with you. It does put things into perspective and certainly got me thinking of my own stance on the issue...