Friday, May 22, 2009

Adulthood?

It's been awhile...trust me, I know.

It's crazy how your life can change so dramatically so quickly. It's like one moment life is almost perfect, the only way you can describe it is the sight of a beach-perfect. Then, out of no where, a storm hits. The calm, beautiful beach is turned upside down.

Recently, this is my life. It's not a bad thing, it's just not perfect. Then again, life can't be going smoothly all the time...how boring would that be?

Now I'm just riding the waves, I know the storm is bound to blow over. It always does.

Currently, I'm in summer school. At the time, I thought it was an excellent idea! Taking credits-working towards my double major. But now, eh...I'm not so sure. I never expected the classes to be so difficult. I never knew that we would be going at such a high speed through the material. It's defiantly going to take everything I have to pass these classes this summer. I hope I'm ready for it.

I'm also working 30 hours a week. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job, it's just a bit overwhelming with the new school schedule. Again, it will all calm down once I'm used to it it's just going to take awhile. 

It's all because of one thing: adulthood. As a child, I really couldn't wait to grow up. I wanted it all-the fancy apartment. The cute, loving boyfriend. The friends. The freedom. 

Then I realized-having all of this doesn't change anything. All it is is added responsibility. More reasons to be let down. A bigger spectrum of disappointment. It's all a little overrated. The whole growing up thing. 

I wish I would have held on to my youth as tightly as I possibly could. I wish I hadn't tried to grow up so fast. I'm not saying I'm old, but I'm certainly not in high school. I have to pay bills, make decisions, and choose where I want to be in the future.

It's a big job. I never knew how hard it was.

I love this quote: "We're adults? When did this happen? And how do we make it stop?"

Then again, it's all part of life. Everything I have done and everything I have experienced has brought me to this point. And with all my heart, I could never wish that away. Every experience, every success, and every mistake has lead me to where I am today, to the person I have become. I wouldn't be me without growing up.

I don't know where I'm going with this or if I even had a point. You know me, when I blog random thoughts and theories just pop out. This is just one of those times.

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