Dealing.

I would much rather forget about issues then talk them out for hours on end. I enjoy thinking of happiness rather then dwelling on things that upset me. I feel like every moment wasted being upset is a moment you can't take back. It's moments when I could have been happy, if I just would have changed my thought process.

I hate fighting. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I don't know why I would rather forgive and forget quickly rather then talking out things.

For some people, this is an issue. When we get in an argument, some want to talk it out until all feelings and thoughts are laid out on the table. Others share my mindset-let's forget about it and move on.

I don't really know which way of dealing with problems is better. Some may say that by "forgetting" you're just bottling up your harsh feelings-which, at any moment-could explode! But in all honesty, I don't really feel that way. I don't feel like the anger and fights that I've left unsaid are just sitting, boiling, waiting for the right moment to all pop out at once.

I just feel like if it's not a HUGE LIFE ALTERING fight, it's not really worth having. I would rather just forget about it, accept that people make mistakes and move on to the happiness.

I'm not saying that I don't mention when something bothers me. If you don't tell people that they are doing something that angers you, they will never know. I tell people when they are doing something upsetting, but once I say it, it's over. It's not like I need to dwell on it. It's not like I need to talk about their thought process in making the decision that hurt me.

I guess I'm just striving for the same thing as everyone else in this world-happiness.

"If this is what he wants, and this is what she wants, why is there so much pain? " Blink 182 'Stay Together for the Kids'

"It won't stop if they don't stop yelling. It's not they way of working your problems out. I can't stand being around this yelling so I'm finding my way out." Plain White T's 'Breakdown'

My outlet.

Music is my outlet.

Sad.

Happy.

Pissed off.

Upset.

Tired.

Confused.

Broken Hearted.

There is a song about every feeling, every situation. It makes me feel not so alone like what I'm feeling and what I'm going through is not so unusual. I guess when you have some feelings you feel like you are being targeted-like no one can even compare to the way you are feeling at the moment.

Music is the way that I am continually proven wrong.

Now, I admit I have an unusual taste in music. I like everything from hip hop to country. The music I like comes with meaning. It comes with lyrics that are truthful and honest. Lyrics that make me feel vulnerable. I guess that's why I don't have a certain type. I just look for depth. For music that can heal me-music that can make me feel understood.

Music is not only an outlet-it's a best friend. When I need to vent-I put on my favorite hate song.(Seventy Times Seventy- Brand New) Confused? Meredith Brooks B*tch is on. When I'm feeling good about a boy...or remembering the good times I had with one? Konstintine by Something Corporate. When I have tears streaming down my face-I put on an artist that understands my pain-an artist that isn't afraid to voice the hurt they are feeling. (Usually Kelly Clarkson Because of You)

I guess this is how I bottle things up. I'm not really holding all my feelings inside-I'm just expressing it in a different way. I don't go and tell everyone what is going on, I tell my i-pod. I tell the song that gets how I feel and understands why I don't want to express the words out loud.

I'm so thankful for music.

My outlet.

My best friend.