I read the book awhile back when I first moved to Utah. At first, I almost lived by the lessons it shared. The basic advice it gave is that if a guy isn't calling you, he doesn't want to. If he doesn't ask you out, he doesn't like you. If he doesn't want to be in a relationship, he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. If he doesn't want to get married, he doesn't want to marry you. At first I obsessed over this book, thinking wow! It's so straightforward! How can girls be this dumb? But when I sat down and thought about it, the book is basically saying 1. Don't ask for a guy's number, if he wants it, he'll get it. 2. Don't call a guy 3. If a guy doesn't know if he wants to date me, I need to find someone who does. Now, I might be somewhat of a feminist but these rules are a little ridiculous. If I want to call a guy, I'm going to call him. If I want his number, I'll get it. I don't understand why the guy is still the only one who can be responsible for this. It's not the olden days!!
I realize that this is a dating book, so from there I should have known it would put down our gender a tad bit; because women, in general are seen as clingy and needy and this book certiantly didn't disagree with that. Which is BS. We do live in the 21st century. We're equal. So why not in the dating world? I have numerous friends who get upset over guys because they hooked up with someone else or they ignored their phone calls, when all they really had to do was clear up the murky water. If you want him to be your boyfriend, ask him. If not, he's not going to act like one. Guys can't read minds. As a woman, this would be the perfect solution to the dating world. However, they can't. And I feel like girls get too scared to tell guys how they feel for fear of being "clingy" or "needy" In the end, a lot is left unsaid and unknown.
When I saw the movie, it made me more sad then anything. I realize that taking an advice book and turning it into a movie isn't something that is easy to do. For that, I give the movie props. It was pretty good. The theater was packed full of women and their girlfriends, all hoping to understand the male brain. The friend I went with looked at me and stated, "This is going to open my eyes."
The movie brought me sadness because it was the story of different relationships, all containing guys that are obviously screwing over their girlfriends. One girl can't get the guys she meets to call her. Another is cheating on his wife with a young, cute singer. Another dates through technology (texting, myspace, etc) and doesn't even meet the men face to face. In all of these situations I feel like girls would be able to tell how screwed over they are getting. The saddest one was defiantly the marriage one. When he told his wife he had slept with someone else, she tried everything to make their marriage work and did he stop? no.
I guess we are all programed to believe that when someone tells us something they are being honest. To me, the movie just proved how much lieing can be involved in dating. If people were just honest with their significant other, how many problems would there really be? If a guy just didn't get your number, you wouldn't be wondering why he wasn't calling. If he told you he didn't want to date you, there would be no other questions.
What bothered me about this movie was that it makes the girls look like the fools. He's not calling you, he doesn't like you...duh! News flash: DON'T ASK FOR THE FREAKIN' NUMBER.
I guess i got off on a rant here but I'm just tired of our gender being balmed for the reason relationships don't work out. We're too needy. We're too clingy. If you ask me, more guys then not that I have dated have been the emotional and clingy ones. At times, I feel like I'm the guy in the relationship. The reason I feel that way? Because society has told us that women are the emotional ones, the ones that get attached easily and need a guy all the time.
No. This is 2009. We can take care of ourselves. We don't need false hope that you're going to call us back or date us. We're focused on our careers and schooling. Not on getting a boyfriend.
