Sunday, July 26, 2009

A Weekend with a Message.

I don't think I've written one bad blog about Colorado. Home is sweet. All I can do is rave about the amazing time when I visit Colorado. This weekend, I went to see my horse, Chocolate show! She did wonderful! It was weird being on the other side of showing-the side where you help, the side where you're not doing the showing. It was kind of depressing. I miss showing. I miss the anxious feeling right before you enter an arena, the panic as you first step in-praying you will remember the pattern correctly, and the amazing feeling of knowing you nailed the pattern, knowing your name is going to be announced soon, a ribbion in your hand. It was sad. But also awesome-I'm so glad I went! I love horse shows...and Chocolate looked stunning!

It was also good to see my friends. We had some really really great and intense talks. Mostly about how we are all almost 20-and how so many people know what they want in life and who they want to share that with. Are we behind? Should we know exactly how we want our life to turn out? sounds so old. So official. I've been having this feeling a lot lately. How do I know what to do, what to work towards, who to be with. How do I know I'm going to want all of this in 10 years. It just seems so surreal that I am at that point in my life. 20. So old.

I don't mean to offend anyone who is older. I just still can't grasp the fact that my life is flashing before my eyes. I hope I've taken every opportunity given to me. I hope I haven't taken anything for granted. I hope I'm doing it all right.

And if not, I guess that's part of the journey, the self discovery, the crazy experience this life gives us. I don't know how it's going to turn out, but I do know that whatever happens in my life I made it happen, me alone. And to have a journey unique to myself? Well, what more could a girl ask for?

1 comment:

::kacy:: said...

i must say, i have never heard a single bad thing about colorado. everyone i know who has lived there/visited there always talks about how beautiful it is. how perfect it is...or how it is just the best place to start a family. i would love to be surrounded by such natural beauty! my best friend lives there and i would love to visit. love your blog, by the way!