Change

"The key to change is to let go of fear"

Crossroad

Have you ever had a decision to make? A really hard one. A decision you knew would impact not only yourself but those around you. A decision that would alter the world as you know it?

I'm having one of those.

My decision isn't the most life altering I will have in my life. It's not even that big of a decision. In fact, if I look at the big picture, this decision is so miniscule I feel weird bringing it up. At the same time it seems huge right now. If this decision didn't impact people around me, it would be so much easier.

I hate these kinds of decisions. The ones where you weigh the pros and cons and still have no idea what to do.

I just hope I figure it out soon.

I wish it was...

Truth

"I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing; kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."

-Audrey Hepburn

24 Hours

24 hours.

That's all it took for my life to completely change. 1440 minutes and my life is so different I can't even explain it.

They are good changes though. Everything that is going on with me right now, in a heart beat, could make me so depressed that I could stay in bed for months, but for some reason I'm seeing it all as positive. I don't know why this is happening. I don't know why at this moment, I decide to be strong and in control. But, I guess your mind does things it has to to survive. I think I like this side of me, the side that turns a blind eye to the sad, negative side and focuses on the good. All my mind is thinking about is the amazing things this change could bring.

Although many posts have been written about my feelings of not wanting to grow up, I realize it is something that must happen. I am 20 years old. I guess I should start being mature? I should start being a real adult and stop acting like a teenager. Just a thought...

I feel like my life all the sudden decided to spring clean. It got rid of things that for some reason, I no longer need. The weird part is, I don't even feel like anything is missing. I look at the future and realize that at one point or another, this would have happened, why not now?

I feel anxious and excited. There are a lot of things changing and I know that it will not only enable me to grow up, but also become someone better. I'm actually relieved that all of this happened at once.

I'm seeing everything so clearly. My life can be so much better then it was before.