The Dating Game: Types of Guys

The dating game...something we can ALL relate to. College is the greatest dating scene of all time...mainly because there are single males everywhere you look. Now, I've been the single girl for awhile...aren't you proud? In "Ending the Cycle" I described breaking the cycle of ALWAYS having a boyfriend. & here I am! Sure, I've met boys here and there but the inevitable always drives me away: I get bored. I don't know why this happens. But, it does. Perhaps my expectations are too high, but after 6 years of dating, I think they should be. I just need to find the type of guy that is for ME. It's not that I've stuck to one type of boy either. I've dabbled in all types, which is why I decided to put my experiences on paper (or on post rather)...

The Frat Boy:

Let me make a confession- I don't know one single person who I hang out on the regular who isn't Greek. Which in turn means, I've dated my fair share of frat boys.

Pros:

The Frat Boy knows how to have a good time and dull moments will be rare

All his friends are your friends

Double the formals & Date-nights

Frat parties are pretty fun.. especially if you have a fratslam

They love to be Greek just as much as I do & understand Greek Life

Cons:

Boys. That's exactly what they are. Men? Not even close

They believe they deserve more than one woman at all times (Dear Frat Boy, you're cool, but you aren't THAT freakin' cool)

Dates consist of hanging with his bros (can I call that a date?)

Their life revolves around three things: themselves, parties, their "bros"

The Hippie:

I wish I understood my attraction to hippie guys. Perhaps it's the way they go with the flow? For whatever reason, I have had my fair share of hippie phases (which my dad absolutely HATED)

Pros:

Great music, concerts, and dinner dates

Fights? Never. A hippie guy doesn't want to fight. It's all about the love.

All the hippies I have dated shower me with compliments...all.the.time.

Cons:

Those dreds have to go (ugh.)

The ponchos need to go also (if the hippie had a fashion sense, I'd be all over that)

So.Many.DRUGS. (seriously? Can you be sober for like....ten seconds?)

The Mormon:

The University of Utah has three types of guys: RMs (50%), Married (35%), Other (15%)...which means...the Mormon guy is EVERYWHERE...

Pros:

They won't be dating a million girls...only you (cough...frat boy)

These boys are so sweet & nice

Many are Returned Missionaries..which means they have learned to live on their own & have tons of stories to tell

The best kind to take home to mom!

Cons:

Three months and you want to talk marriage? (See ya later...)

If I hear ONE more mission story....(10 stories in 30 minutes is a BIT much)

Favorite topic: The future!

The questions they ask on the first date: "how many kids do you want?" "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" "Why did you and your last bf break up?" (SERIOUSLY?)

They are pretty behind in their education (they did serve a mission for 2 years)

The Athlete:

I'm a sucker for a good bod and a passion for working out. Who isn't?

Pros:

Did I mention their amazing bodies?

Active fun dates: running, batting cages, soccer, going to the gym

They aren't texting you every second of everyday (hello..they have practice, games, & working out to do)

Watching your man play a professional sport? HOT.AS.HELL.

Cons:

The Athlete is gone A LOT during the season (although I would count this as a pro as well...)

Groupies? MANY.

He expects you to understand the game, rules, standings, etc. (No...I didn't see the game. Gossip Girl was on...sorry!)

Location. They move around a lot which means you aren't driving distance away (again, I could use this as a pro)

You won't be his top priority. (yet, this passion for the game is a turn on for me...)

The Law/Med School Student:

I've only dated two of these in my life...so this description may not be accurate. I'll go from personal experience..

Pro:

He's smart which means he has a bright future

Need help with your homework? BINGO

He doesn't have too much time, so when he does it makes it count (awesome dates/conversation)

Cons:

Busy, Busy, Busy

Some of these guys think they are smarter than you...hey I don't care what salt is made of?! k?

They are stressed out a lot

The guys I have dated lack humor (DEAL BREAKER)

The Older Guy:

I've only dated one guy younger than me (he was a hippie...sigh) other than that I date guys older than me. I dated one guy 13 years older than me (I was 18, he was 30), which even now I cannot believe I did. Since John (name has been changed) I've dated a few guys 5-10 years older than me. But I'm a huge fan. Here's why...

Pros:

This guy has an established career, home, etc. and knows what he wants in life.

BEST DATES EVER (I'm not even kidding. This guy knows where to take you to have a good time)

The conversation is intelligent, interesting, and REAL (the other guys have yet to develop this quality)

They are gentlemen (generous, courteous, caring...heck they even open doors!) Chivalry is not dead for this type

Cons:

When you were in middle school...he was in college...weird (I just don't think about it)

The generation gap can get you a bit (What do you mean you don't know what Twitter is?)

They get serious pretty fast (Not as bad as the Mormon Guy however..)

You may feel a bit unsuccessful compared to them (hello! you are!) which can be a bit disheartening (I'm used to being way more successful than the boys I date)

The Metro Guy:

He takes 30 minutes longer than you to get ready. And those shoes? Fabulous! I don't have too many Pros about this type...but I'll try to squeeze some out...

Pros:

Their sense of humor is pretty girly also (which is fun because it's like that of your girlfrineds!)

Shopping with the boyfriend just got a whole lot better!

Cons:

Seriously...your outfit is better than mine. Ew.

I don't even pluck my eyebrows....and he does.....

I like manly men. I hate feeling like I'm dating a chick

Tanning (SERIOUSLY?) tanning???

You can't wear sweats with no make-up when you run to the store with him. When is it ever okay for the guy to look better than me? NEVER.

Please see description above in picture!!! (hahahaha)

What I've learned from these many, many failed "relationships" is that my perfect guy is a bit of all of the above (okay the metro can be thrown out. I like my men manly....). Thank goodness I have many years to continue the search (Hey! I'm only 21!!)

What do you think? I know I missed a few...fill me in!

Trapped

Trapped. The perfect way to describe my thoughts. All i seem to think about is my future. To a fault I analyze the things I am doing and how my future will play out.

I'm stressed.

What if I'm studying the wrong major? Instead of marketing, what if I'm supposed to be a doctor, reporter, or teacher? How do I know I will LOVE the marketing industry? What if I'm dating all the wrong boys? Should I study abroud? Intern at a firm? Double major? Grad school?

I think that I'm so preoccupied with these thoughts because everyone around me is getting married & finding a career-growing up. I graduate in one year. Twelve months. It seems so surreal that my college experience is almost over. Did I learn all I was supposed to? Did I take every opportunity I could to better myself-to learn about myself?
One of my favorite quotes is "Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens"

Yet, this thinking is one I can't seem to grasp. I need to learn to just see what happens. Quit worrying about the future.

To a fault, I like to plan things. I have endless "To Do" lists, calendars, task lists, etc. But I can't plan for what I don't know. Truth is, I don't know how I'll feel in 3, 5, 10 years. There is NO way to know what will happen. I know in the end, everything will work out how it's supposed to. I just have to have faith that it will.

He's Just Not That Into You.

I read the book awhile back when I first moved to Utah. At first, I almost lived by the lessons it shared. The basic advice it gave is that if a guy isn't calling you, he doesn't want to. If he doesn't ask you out, he doesn't like you. If he doesn't want to be in a relationship, he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. If he doesn't want to get married, he doesn't want to marry you. At first I obsessed over this book, thinking wow! It's so straightforward! How can girls be this dumb? But when I sat down and thought about it, the book is basically saying 1. Don't ask for a guy's number, if he wants it, he'll get it. 2. Don't call a guy 3. If a guy doesn't know if he wants to date me, I need to find someone who does. Now, I might be somewhat of a feminist but these rules are a little ridiculous. If I want to call a guy, I'm going to call him. If I want his number, I'll get it. I don't understand why the guy is still the only one who can be responsible for this. It's not the olden days!!

I realize that this is a dating book, so from there I should have known it would put down our gender a tad bit; because women, in general are seen as clingy and needy and this book certiantly didn't disagree with that. Which is BS. We do live in the 21st century. We're equal. So why not in the dating world? I have numerous friends who get upset over guys because they hooked up with someone else or they ignored their phone calls, when all they really had to do was clear up the murky water. If you want him to be your boyfriend, ask him. If not, he's not going to act like one. Guys can't read minds. As a woman, this would be the perfect solution to the dating world. However, they can't. And I feel like girls get too scared to tell guys how they feel for fear of being "clingy" or "needy" In the end, a lot is left unsaid and unknown.

When I saw the movie, it made me more sad then anything. I realize that taking an advice book and turning it into a movie isn't something that is easy to do. For that, I give the movie props. It was pretty good. The theater was packed full of women and their girlfriends, all hoping to understand the male brain. The friend I went with looked at me and stated, "This is going to open my eyes."

The movie brought me sadness because it was the story of different relationships, all containing guys that are obviously screwing over their girlfriends. One girl can't get the guys she meets to call her. Another is cheating on his wife with a young, cute singer. Another dates through technology (texting, myspace, etc) and doesn't even meet the men face to face. In all of these situations I feel like girls would be able to tell how screwed over they are getting. The saddest one was defiantly the marriage one. When he told his wife he had slept with someone else, she tried everything to make their marriage work and did he stop? no.

I guess we are all programed to believe that when someone tells us something they are being honest. To me, the movie just proved how much lieing can be involved in dating. If people were just honest with their significant other, how many problems would there really be? If a guy just didn't get your number, you wouldn't be wondering why he wasn't calling. If he told you he didn't want to date you, there would be no other questions.

What bothered me about this movie was that it makes the girls look like the fools. He's not calling you, he doesn't like you...duh! News flash: DON'T ASK FOR THE FREAKIN' NUMBER.

I guess i got off on a rant here but I'm just tired of our gender being balmed for the reason relationships don't work out. We're too needy. We're too clingy. If you ask me, more guys then not that I have dated have been the emotional and clingy ones. At times, I feel like I'm the guy in the relationship. The reason I feel that way? Because society has told us that women are the emotional ones, the ones that get attached easily and need a guy all the time.

No. This is 2009. We can take care of ourselves. We don't need false hope that you're going to call us back or date us. We're focused on our careers and schooling. Not on getting a boyfriend.