Graduation Speech from Eclipse

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our things were answers like astronaut, president, or in my case, princess… When we were ten, they asked us again. We answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist… But now that we’ve grown up, they want a more serious answer. Well, how about this… Who the hell knows? This isn’t a time to make hard and fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy because there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… We won’t have to guess. We’ll know.”

I love this. It couldn't have been said any better.

Trapped

Trapped. The perfect way to describe my thoughts. All i seem to think about is my future. To a fault I analyze the things I am doing and how my future will play out.

I'm stressed.

What if I'm studying the wrong major? Instead of marketing, what if I'm supposed to be a doctor, reporter, or teacher? How do I know I will LOVE the marketing industry? What if I'm dating all the wrong boys? Should I study abroud? Intern at a firm? Double major? Grad school?

I think that I'm so preoccupied with these thoughts because everyone around me is getting married & finding a career-growing up. I graduate in one year. Twelve months. It seems so surreal that my college experience is almost over. Did I learn all I was supposed to? Did I take every opportunity I could to better myself-to learn about myself?
One of my favorite quotes is "Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens"

Yet, this thinking is one I can't seem to grasp. I need to learn to just see what happens. Quit worrying about the future.

To a fault, I like to plan things. I have endless "To Do" lists, calendars, task lists, etc. But I can't plan for what I don't know. Truth is, I don't know how I'll feel in 3, 5, 10 years. There is NO way to know what will happen. I know in the end, everything will work out how it's supposed to. I just have to have faith that it will.